Product Type: Muse
Model No.: Eternal
Last Serviced: Sometime in the 70’s
Complaint: Busted Dimmer Switch
Brief Description of Problems: Only turns completely off or completely on. There is no in between. Also, the product has developed a sense of twisted humor, finding this malfunctioning switch hilarious and entertaining. Currently, it is stuck in the ‘ON’ position on ‘High’ and I hear a lot of snarky laughter through the din of character voices. And a blender. I think she’s making margaritas to celebrate the cleverness of her plot to try to fry my brain. I’d also like to/: Brief means brief:/
Suggested Repairs: ADD or REPAIR dimmer switch. REMOVE unwarranted sarcastic personality of product – or – SEND ME A NEW ONE!
Signed: Harassed Writer (000) 555-HELP / email@example.com