Ever since I was given the go-ahead to mention my upcoming novel here on my blog, I’ve been combating this timid anxiety trying to creep its way into my brain. “Relax,” I tell myself. “It’s still a year away” – give or take. It’s not about that novel, though. It’s about what comes next.
The process is so long, shouldn’t I already have another book submitted by now? If so, which one? Confession time again: I’m possibly the epitome of everything those help articles tell you NOT to do as a writer. I cannot sit down and write just one novel at a time. My creative juices don’t flow that way. I have no less than 2 dozen novels in the works – that have been in the works for months to years – impatiently waiting for my attention to return to them. It will. It always does.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe in the power of discipline as a writer. I write and (try to read) every day. Yes, even beyond this new addiction called blogging!
Whether it’s new ideas for old stories – or new ideas in general – I always have my notebook right beside me, where I can quickly stem the spontaneous hemorrhaging. I have other ‘finished’ novels; they possess a beginning, middle and end, but they’re far from done. Haven’t yet been put through the wringer of polishing and re-editing needed to meet my own standards, let alone a publisher’s.
Should I force myself to focus on one of these, so I can hurry up and get them submitted? Or should I keep letting my creativity control the course of my attention? As a reader, when I find an author I thoroughly enjoy, I can’t wait for their next book to come out. Since I don’t have any readers – YET – I’m not entirely sure who I would be ‘rushing’ for. Myself? My publisher? Or the potential readers I might acquire after the publication of The Zen Lounge? Perhaps, all of us.
All I know, is I’m starting to feel antsy and it’s driving me crazy. I hate feeling like I’m not working fast enough, that I’m going to miss some imagined deadline. It’s times like these that I wish I actually had control over my own creativity. Blasted, single-track bastard. It’s official, my creativity is male. Ha! There, that should get some comments… bring it, fellas. 😉
I’m commenting before even reading…for now. I just gotta say I literally burst out laughing when I read your title over on BlogHer. hahahaha … ok, gonna go read it now :p
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LOL, I had my own “panic at the desko” a couple of days ago. I had an avalanche of freelance work with short deadlines land all at the same time. I have never had this much at once and of course I remain committed t NaBloPoMo. Write for you first, unless the bills depend on it ;0
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Sometimes I’m struck with those funny little play on words – it really hadn’t been planned, but I’m glad someone else got a chuckle out of it. 🙂 Freelance is something I’ve never done, though have been looking into more frequently, so I can only imagine the rush of deadlines. Thank you for the like, the advice and the comments! I hope you’re enjoying your evening.
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We always keep telling ourselves that we must do more, write faster. I think sometimes it is less anxiety inducing to think that it would be nice to work at a faster pace, but it is a good thing that we keep at it, whatever the pace than not do it altogether 🙂 You’ll get there.
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Very good point there! I’ll drink to that (don’t worry, it’s only coffee, I swear). 😀 I do think we have a tendency to be harder on ourselves than we would tolerate others being on us. I always say I’m my own worst critic, even though I’m also a huge fan lol
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And usually harder on ourselves than we would ever be on other too 🙂
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