Daily, Daily… It seems I just posted about this not so long ago – but, I guess I can take what I said before and morph it into a new post that incorporates what brings me Anxiety in this digital world.
No, seriously. Every time. If I’m commenting on someone’s post, sending an e-mail, Instant-Messaging on Yahoo or the worst – submitting a manuscript to a publisher electronically – I have a slight anxiety attack. There’s no retrieving something once you’ve hit the send button. It’s gone. Out there. Going to be read by the recipient and you better hope it’s going to the right person!
Even though I will spend minutes, to hours, to even days reading, re-reading, proofing, changing, editing, correcting, rewriting, making absolutely sure it says what I want/need it to say, that the spelling is correct and the grammar isn’t migraine-inducing – I still hesitate with the white arrow hovering over the send button.
Then, as soon as I make it through that obstacle, my heart rate picks up, my palms get a little sweaty and I worry. Will it read the way I intended? Will the recipient respond well? Will the publisher accept my manuscript or reply with a rejection letter? There are a million and one reasons why hitting the send button drives me into a fit of panic.
Lately, this seems to be truer than ever before, as I have been posting more, commenting more and writing e-mails to people whom I truly care what their opinions are regarding how they might interpret what I wrote. So, Daily, my anxiety is not brought on by a noise – but, in a way, I guess you could say that it is triggered by a silence. The eerie silence of that dreaded, nerve-wracking waiting period between “Sent” and “You’ve got mail.”