Honest Bulls**t

What’s the best story someone else has recently told you (in person, preferably)? Share it with us, and feel free to embellish — that’s how good stories become great, after all.

Would that be considered gossiping?  No?… Alrighty, then! 😀

Not so long ago, on a chilly, wet October afternoon, my best friend’s husband hopped in his truck and headed down their longer than necessary gravel road to get his youngest daughter off the bus.  In the passenger seat, their Red Healer, Ginger, was enjoying the ride.  It was comfortably routine.  Nothing out of the ordinary, save for the fact that Mr. Hubby had just had major surgery on his right wrist, thus forcing him to be an unnatural Lefty.  He was getting the hang of it, though.

After successfully collecting his bouncing Peanut from the bus, Mr. Hubby started back up the road toward home, when he found himself face-to-face with a bull.  Or grill-to-face, as it were.  Fifty acres! he thinks to himself.  Fifty friggin’ acres and this one bull has to find the one place in the fence to get out!!

“Stay in the truck,” Mr. Hubby warns Peanut and Ginger, respectively.

Hopping out, Mr. Hubby tries to coax the bull back through the fence the way he’d come out, but this beast was not having it.  In fact, the bull decided he was going to show Mr. Hubby who was really boss and square off with him.  Mr. Hubby says “I don’t think so, Jack,” and he, too, squares off with the bull.

Two seconds later, Mr. Hubby was jumping back into the truck, because it turned out the bull wasn’t playing and had charged.  While attempting to herd the bull with his truck, he called his wife to explain the situation.  So, she drove down in her truck and after some doing, they were able to herd the bull back up their driveway.  My best friend hopped out of her truck and closed the gate at the end of the drive, to at least keep him pinned on their own property.

This bull was head strong and determined, though.  After getting him pushed up the drive to the pasture gate, he decided he wasn’t going any further.  He turned and squared off with my best friend’s truck and charged!  Thank goodness he thought twice about it, and ran past her beloved Chevy, instead.  Inch by painstaking inch, they gave that bull no other choice but to go through the giant, green metal gate and back out into the fields.

Fifty friggin’ acres and he wants to play in the yard.  Meanwhile, I’m at home minding my own business, until my best friend catches me on Yahoo messenger and says: “So… Hubby went down to get Peanut off the bus..”

Naturally, my first response was: “Uh, oh… what happened?”

And that’s an honest to bull second-hand story.  No s**t.