The In Your Face[book] Approach

I love watching the slow escalation of Facebook’s need for attention. I’ll purposely go without posting anything just to see how their emails and notifications progress from “hey, whatcha doin’?” to the point where if Facebook were a person, I’d be getting a restraining order. I opened my inbox this morning to no less than 6 consecutive email notifications from them, either promising a discount to boost my posts or highlighting all the things my friends are doing that I’m missing out on.

Listen up, Facebook, if I want you, I’ll use you. Take a hint. Maybe I don’t like the fact that you’re like that one friend who can never keep a secret. Maybe I don’t like everyone in the world knowing what day and time I wiped my… nose…because you keep an actual timeline. We have words for entities like you, Facebook. Attention Whore. Stalker. Busybody. 

MAD TV even had a skit about you, Facebook. Stuart and his “Look at what I can do” moments of needing attention. And that’s all you’re doing, flailing your limbs about in the most obnoxious way possible while trying to get me to spend a ridiculous amount of money on posts – posts! They’re not even ads, they’re just posts! C’mon, be real.

And, as if Facebook’s greed for the spotlight (and unearned cash) weren’t bad enough, they also seem to think they can get results by escalating from helpful suggestions to downright orders. They start off all, “hey, your friends haven’t heard from you in awhile” to “A.C., create a post for people visiting your page.”

Hey FB, don’t tell me what the eff to do and please, find a different hobby. You should be putting yourself in FB Jail for so many crimes, I can’t even list them all, but let’s just settle for harassment and spam abuse, even if it’s mildly entertaining to ignore the hell out of you.

♥ p.s. This is not a rant – and yes, I’m aware that it’s my choice to have a Facebook page. This was done for humor and entertainment purposes only, because I know for a fact I’m not the only one who feels this way about the necessary evil that is FB. So…Happy Hump Day! 😀

5 thoughts on “The In Your Face[book] Approach

  1. I feel the same way A.C. It’s like a catch “needing” to use FB but not wanting to because of the intrusion. Right now, I’m a little suspicious about the mainpage for WP. Out of curiosity, what is on yours? The “ad” is a woman who owns her own hair business…

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s the same ad I’m seeing, too. What’s your suspicions?

      Personally, the only social media app I actually like using is Instagram. Twitter’s atmosphere is just as bad as Facebook’s, but at least they’re not plaguing me with emails begging for my attention or money. So, Twitter gets credit there, but if I could get away without ever using either one of those apps, I’d delete them so fast LOL

      Like

      • I’m not sure. Was wondering if WP somehow tracks content and targeted the ad for me being Black. For the longest time on FB, I was seeing an interracial couple as a log-in. I LOVE IG too but need to figure out better how to fit it to “me” personally and my writing.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ah, I gotcha. Targeted marketing can definitely be close to stalkerish sometimes. Like, I looked up a local gym on my laptop and the very next time I hopped on IG on my phone an ad for that same gym was there! I never use IG on my laptop, but I am signed into Google with the same account on both devices, so I think that’s how they managed it. Grrr….

        Like

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