Whaddaya Mean I’m Not Superwoman?

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It’s painful to admit that I think I’ve reached the end of my multitasking capabilities. Everyone’s lives are busy and we all juggle overflowing plates–but to those who can be mom/dad, work full time, keep house, be rushed through back-to-back edits while battling a nasty head cold bent on destroying our planet and still find time to tweet every five minutes, I bow before you, and in the wise words of Wayne & Garth declare:

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The good news is that I am recovering from the head cold at long last and hopefully will be getting back into my blogging routine, at least. I have a lot to catch up on, so bear with me…

Here’s to a better week for all!

 

The Elusive Pokemon

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Yep, that looks like my goofy boys. image source: keyword-suggestions.com

Ever since I packed the kiddos up and moved to this lovely area we’ve called home for the past 3 years, they’ve made a lot of friends around the neighborhood. Friends that started out as guests and have quickly become family. They camp out in my living room, play my video games, watch my Netflix, share their jokes and rapping skills (some are really good!) – in short, it’s always fun times around here. I feel blessed to be considered the ‘cool’ mom to this large assortment of kids, mostly boys and a couple girls, ranging in age from 13-18. They even sometimes cook, sometimes clean, wash their own laundry – with a little push from the stern side of cool mom 😉

Hey, this is an equal opportunity household!

There are 2 very important things I’ve learned as the mom to a neighborhood of teenagers. 1: Always have food and drinks on hand. 2: Keep a can of Febreeze in every room. Especially if your kids are athletes!

Knowing I was going to have a couple extra kids over, I begrudgingly went grocery shopping, so no one would go hungry. Now, I am admittedly a carb-junkie. You can have your ice cream, candy bars and donuts. Stay the hell away from my coffee and potato chips! As it turned out, my 2 extras turned into 4 + the 2 I gave birth to, and I learned something very interesting this past week: How much food 6 teenage boys can eat in less than 48 hours.

The answer is: ALL OF IT. (aka what a family of 3 could live on for a week).

To include all of my cheddar cheese Ruffles. 😐

“Who ate all my chips?!”

“Not me!” x 6.

I guess it was that elusive pokémon no one’s caught yet. That little shit also dirties all of the towels and dishes, drinks out of the milk carton, never replaces the empty toilet paper rolls or seals the cereal bag and leaves dirty socks all over the living room. I’m going to call him Teenboyachu.

#LOVEMYKIDS! #HateGroceryShopping! #GetYourOwnBag!

Curiouser & Curiouser

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So true, but… the wonderful Karissa over at Sexy Romance Novels has tagged me for these 15 Weird Questions on her blog (Go check out her answers) which sounded like fun, so I’m going to fill you in on things you probably never wanted to know about me! 🙂

Freebie: Alice in Wonderland is my favorite childhood story – especially since it opened the way for games like Alice: Return to Madness. my 🎮

Weird Q&A

#1. What’s a nickname only your family calls you?

Vampire.

#2. What’s a weird habit of yours?

I always make sure there is nothing liquid anywhere near my laptop if I have to walk away from it for any reason – yet while I’m using it, my coffee cup is always within reach!

#3. Do you have any weird phobias?

Yes, I’m afraid of open heights, but not enclosed ones.

#4. What’s a song you secretly LOVE to blast & belt out when you’re alone?

“Lover Girl” by Teena Marie 😀

#5. What’s one of your biggest pet peeves?

People who have nothing better to do than preach at and/or condemn others, especially when they only do it online because they would never have the guts to say it to someone’s face. (And they’re usually hypocrites, to boot.)

#6. What’s one of your nervous habits?

When I’m extremely nervous about being in a public place (introvert anxiety) I have the habit of making myself come across as completely unapproachable.

#7. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

Whichever’s closest to the door.

#8. What was your first stuffed animal & what was its name?

Henrietta

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This brown dog I didn’t get to name, because it came with a name tag already sewn onto it. Her name is Henrietta.  Apparently a popular item in the 70’s (or maybe that was only in Germany?) Picture shown is not mine – but, I do still have her!

 

#9. What’s the drink you ALWAYS order at Starbucks?

Caramel Macchiato.

#10. What’s the beauty rule you preach… but never ACTUALLY practice?

I don’t preach any, but there are plenty I don’t practice that I wish I did!

#11. Which way do you face in the shower?

Away from the water for the most part.

#12. Do you have any ‘weird’ body ‘skills’?

I can stand with my feet facing opposite directions beside one another – I think it’s a leftover byproduct of childhood ballet lessons.

#13. What’s your favorite ‘comfort food’ / food that’s ‘bad’ but you love to eat it anyway?

Potato chips.  Love potato chips!

#14. What’s a phrase or exclamation you always say?

Your face! (My youngest son is always trying to trip me up by making me say “your mom” back to him, so I burn myself… so far, I’ve been fairly good at not falling for it!) 😀

#15. Time to sleep – what are you ACTUALLY wearing?

T-shirt and sweats/leggings, or just a t-shirt/tank-top if it’s really hot.

Now I’m tagging:

Sandra @ What Sandra Thinks

Marquessa @ Simply Marquessa

Kay @ Kay Morris Writes

Born Fearless

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Image source: hercampus.com

I remember being so fearless, I convinced the meanest, most stubborn mare in the world to let me ride her… bareback. (I think I just out-stubborned her).  I spent all my time barefoot, running at top speeds down gravel driveways, through pastures of wild daisies, eating Huckleberries and Blackberries right off the bush and conning stray, feral cats to come home with me no matter how many scratches I earned for my efforts.  I’d spend hours exploring the woods with no sense of direction, whatsoever.  See that plant right there with the pink and red streaks near the bottom growing next to the fence?  That’s going in my mouth right now, because nothing beats fresh Rhubarb, except for maybe Rhubarb pie.

If someone was mad at me, I confronted them right away.  If I thought someone I cared about was doing something wrong or harmful to themselves, I spoke up.  Unless it was in the middle of a Tornado, then they couldn’t hear me.  Mother.

I never backed down from a dare or obstacle, I found a way.  Wonder who I go that from… 😐

There was nothing better than riding in the back of my daddy’s pickup truck on a hot summer day or fishing tadpoles out of the drain ditches on the side of the road.  Laying across the yellow lines to watch the clouds dissipate and form.

With the help of my family, I climbed to the very top of the capital building, even though I’m so afraid of heights I get nervous watching someone else on a step ladder. Yes, it is different than flying or climbing trees and mountains, I just don’t know why.

There will always be a wistful longing inside of me for that fearlessness I had as a child. Too bad it’s a product of ignorance; the price you pay for wisdom and experience.  I’ll only ever know it in my memories now, because I’m a parent and nothing can turn a brave soul into a worry-wart faster than becoming a mom or dad.  On the bright side, I’ve had years of watching my own kids enjoying their time in the midst of that liberating fearlessness.  Now, they’re in the “I am a teenager, therefore I am Invincible” stage… but that’s for a whole other post. 🙂

Happy TGIF!

Saturday Sass

SaturdaySummerVacationYep. It’s officially the first day of Summer Break.  The funniest thing is that I used to prefer my kids being on summer vacation.  I used to look forward to not worrying about: Getting up and driving them to and from school, open house, homework, parent/teacher conferences, musicals, science fairs, math relays, field days, field trips, and everything else the schools manage to make me leave my house and open my wallet for.

Then my kids breached the age of 13.  Now their social calendars are jammed packed full of “Mom, I have to go! You have to take me! Oh, and I need $$$!”

Every June, this is the conversation starter for the break: “OMG how many times do I have to tell you that just because you’re on vacation doesn’t mean everybody else in the world is on vacation?!”

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Is it just me, or do kids get braver when there’s no school???

Never curse yourself with wanting to be the cool mom/dad, you’ll never get any peace and quiet.

Aside from chores, my kids and I are at constant war over who reaches the highest level in video games or finishes the series of Sons of Anarchy on Netflix first (I totally won the Supernatural contest, btw).  The result of this is kind of kinship with teenagers is a lot like owning Gremlins.  They come in quiet and polite, then they eat all your food, drink all your Gatorade, multiply and get snarky.

Maybe they’re more like bees, leaving some kind of pheromone at the front door to alert all of the other neighborhood kids of where all the free food and WiFi is.

*Sigh* At least I know where my kids are! 🙂

Let The Party Begin!

T.G.I.F.F.F.E.  (That’s Great, It’s Friday For Freaking Ever!)  Seriously, that’s what it’s going to feel like here in 3 days, when my kids don’t go back to school come this Monday OR the Monday after that!  When the boredom and cabin fever sets in after all of the holiday parties are over and presents unwrapped.  The new and shiny toys will last a few hours and then my youngest will be pulling his best Lurch impression, appearing out of nowhere with his gloomy face and solemn demeanor.  “Mom, can I… have a friend over, go to a friends, anything other than just be here at home without someone to entertain me 24/7, huh?  Can I?  CanIcanIcanIcanI, mom, mom, mom, mommy, mommy, mommy, mother, mother, mother, Lois, Lois,” – oh, sorry got carried away. 🙂

Meanwhile, my oldest – who totally spoiled me rotten and left me utterly defenseless for when my youngest came along, will be curled up with a book somewhere, or a Kindle – or both – and I’ll probably be bugging him.  “Hey you, kid I gave life to, stop being a broody teenager for like FIVE SECONDS and pay attention to me!”

Taking his sweet time, he’ll close the book over and look up at me, nonplussed.  “What, mom?”

“Go entertain your brother.”

(Eye roll, book opens, Mom is back to being ignored.)

*Sigh*  Gotta love the holidays! 😀

Firsts

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Baby’s First Step image: webmd.com

Tonight, I’m not writing to you as an author, folks.  Tonight, I’m joining the plethora of mommy-bloggers out there.  Like most parents, I have spent my children’s lives documenting all of their major milestones.  Their first word, first tooth, first haircut, first step, etc…  It’s important, to us, probably more than them.  I thought I was doing a great job.

While my kids are close in age, they are completely different, so as they’ve gotten older, their ‘Firsts’ have taken separate routes.  Their milestones are now personalized and that’s fine.  I’m glad that they can be their own people and still be siblings.  My youngest is my sports fanatic and tonight at our post-season tournament, he got his First Touchdown.

Or, so I thought.  I quickly realized, as I’m standing there in the grandstands cheering my little head off to the point of losing my voice, that my son wasn’t nearly as excited as I had imagined he would be when he accomplished this personal goal.  This year is his 3rd season in youth football.  In our neck of the woods, that’s a full-on contact sport, not flags hanging out of the back of their belts – and he plays both Offense and Defense, yet rarely gets the opportunity to carry the ball.

Not only did he get a touchdown, he got a two-point safety, a first down and a beautiful sack, on top of his normal beast-mode tackles.  Yes, I’m a proud mama and no, I don’t care if that’s completely biased, it’s my job.  Needless to say, it was a great game and with icing on the top, our team won.  After the players did their end of the night huddle, where the coaches praised each one for all of their good sportsmanship and hard work – even when they lose, they get these morale-boosting speeches – I was right there to congratulate my son on his first touchdown and make a big deal out of it.  He was already grinning, they all were, but when the words “first touchdown” left my mouth, my son looked at me soberly, blinked and said:

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Youth Football Players image: ideas.time.com

“Mom, I got my first touchdown mid-season against the (not naming the team here), remember?”

WHAT?!  NO!  No, I do NOT remember!  How in the hell did I miss my son’s FIRST touchdown???!!! I was at the game!  I’m at every game!  I’m a horrible mom!  I should be fired.  Someone should be investigating my parenting skills, is there an Internal Affairs attached to this bureau?!  How could I have not known that my baby had already accomplished such a tremendous goal?  What was I doing?  Talking to one of the other parents?  Watching the coaches, the other team, the cheerleaders, had my head been turned at just the WRONG time?!

The mom-guilt got worse, spiraling further down, as I realized that my ‘baby’ is going to be in junior high next year.  That not only had I missed his first touchdown, but I’d probably missed the last of his ‘Firsts’ that I would ever be allowed to witness.  I’m not going to be privy to his ‘first’ kiss, his ‘first’ serious girlfriend.  I’m not going to be attending his ‘first’ school dance or his ‘First’ fight with a good friend.  I’m done.  I’m done being the one to be there to enjoy his milestones.  I will be here.  Here for him when he’s gushing over that girl or his brother rat’s him out for the kiss, I’ll be here for the anger and hurt when he has that fight, but I won’t be there.

This whole mom business should come with flashing, neon warning labels:  “Watch out for those FIRSTS!” Buy lots of cameras, camcorders and whatever you do…  don’t blink.